“[In contrast to] the ‘either/or’, ‘right/wrong’ mindset where there’s nothing in between – paradoxical thinking would say, ‘What if it’s both? What if there’s value in understanding the first path, and value in equally understanding the other path, and even the third?’ … It’s about being able to hold that tension between paths.” – Renee Moorefield
Finding comfort in the contradiction
When we experience a paradox, we feel pulled in separate directions, without a clear or simple solution.
Most of us find sitting with that paradox uncomfortable, which is why we tend to look for a quick and easy solution – something we can rally around as well as defend. Our brains to do not like open loops, which makes tolerating paradox uncomfortable and why we avoid the feeling of being stuck in the middle!
Renee Moorefield’s Be Well Lead Well Pulse assessment measures the wellbeing of leaders across 19 dimensions. Research conducted by external experts shows that when leaders have a strong sense of wellbeing, they’re more able to thrive amidst paradoxical situations. They can more easily navigate opposing ideas, extract important elements from each, and propose integrated solutions.
So when we expand our minds beyond the binary, we can avoid oversimplification and transcend it to create new, richer and more sustainable paths.
Be Well Lead Well Pulse overview
[04:12] “The Be Well Lead Well Pulse assessment is built on a framework of thriving, and the framework of thriving has 19 dimensions of wellbeing and stress resilience [that] feed into six dimensions…the framework was built to support leaders and all of us in having a sense of internal resourcefulness, and meet our complex demands.”
Wellbeing and paradoxical leadership
[24:06] “[You have] the ability to transcend the situation, because you’re looking for other perspectives, so you’re not stuck in the conflict. You’re really looking at it like, ‘I wonder how this could be true,’ almost with a sense of play and experimentation and looking for value – and then looking for another perspective that transcends what you feel you’re in.”
[23:25] “We found that leaders reporting high levels of well-being were 38% (so close to 40%) more apt to report scoring high in their ability to lead paradoxes.”
Our brainstorm of practices
[27:22] “A paradox is not a problem that can be solved easily…To understand, usually have to slow down and start asking questions and start seeking a new perspective that maybe you weren’t taking on the situation.”
[43:29] “As a daily routine, [start] a very basic mindfulness practice…the heart of mindfulness is about being present in the moment without judging it as good or bad, right or wrong, either/or…that alone can create insight, and possibly some movement, just becoming aware without judgment.”
Previous episodes with Renee Moorefield:
Episode 6: An Essential Link: Wellbeing and Leader Effectiveness
“Respect yourself, respect others – respect the people you’re working with. When you have those two ingredients, that will drive authentic communication among you and will be a part of your everyday working environment.” – Treg Manning
Wholehearted Leadership
When Treg reached out to me for leadership coaching, he was facing what he referred to as a crisis of confidence. Trust had been breached on his team and as a result hard decisions had to be made and big shifts occurred. It was not pretty. He knew that it would take hard work to turn things around and he put himself 100% into it. Wholeheartedly.
Treg responded with one of the most amazing examples of leadership and vulnerability that I have witnessed.
He discusses how it felt that day he laid everything on the table. Open Kimono. He also shares his philosophy on leadership and how horsemanship boosts his leadership effectiveness and life balance.
Honest, open communication for everyone
[22:56] “It can be painful to hear what [my team has] to say sometimes…but because of that, the loyalty that they have to the organization, and that we have towards each other, is probably the strongest of any environment organization I’ve ever been a part of.”
Horsemanship and Leadership
[29:33] “You have to build a bond with that horse – and you have to expect that they’re going to test you, and then you have to respond in the positive way so that they respect you as a leader, but not respond too harshly, cannot be too emotional. You have to be very professional and respectful in that relationship.”
Treg explains you need to earn trust with a horse, and the process is a great model of reactive versus creative leadership.
Empathy leads to excellence
[36:53] “There needs to be empathy and trust built … because you won’t get the best out of somebody until those walls come down. And then, when you’re able to bring those walls down, and there’s a trusting environment, you’re going to see people shine like you’ve never seen them shine before.”
“Is our life an illustration of the ideals that we hold dear? Are we a living example of our personal philosophies for how to live meaningfully?”
Letting your life speak
As Maya Angelou famously said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
As conscious and conscientious leaders, we not only strive for business results – we want to leave organizations, families and communities better than we found them. To gauge our impact, it’s helpful to look at it from the lens of our actions. What do they say about us?
The informal leaders in our lives are often unsung heroes, shaping families and communities for generations. They leave the world a better place by ‘letting their life speak’, as Parker Palmer famously wrote. They live in alignment with their often unspoken, yet embodied values.
This episode is about a very special woman in my life. Without ever explaining them, I knew Betty Mallory’s values. She always made me feel special, welcomed, trusted and loved.
Reflections: Are you Walking Your Talk?
For you, what makes for a full and meaningful life?
What is most important to you (aka your values)
After several observations and interactions with you, could someone reflect back to you your values? Can you describe why or why not?
What does embodying your values look like? What actions and behaviors would I observe?
“What if life was a place full of possibilities for us to get better at the things that we care about? Instead of a place where we need to prove that we’re great and perfect?” – Fran Cherny
If we expect ourselves to master new skills easily and in short time, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment and very likely a resistance to future change efforts. To give ourselves the best chance for growth and development, it’s important that we align our efforts with our values.
Also important and often overlooked, we need to find joy in the journey.
Fran Cherny elaborates on this concept in a humble, passionate and compassionate way in his book, Be the Change: The Art of Becoming Our Own Innovation Project. Fran situates this book as “an invitation to learn how to learn: something to help us constantly seek the best version of ourselves”.
What I enjoy about viewing myself as “an innovation project” is the idea of experimentation. I can approach any change in dynamic ways that make sense to me while caring for myself along the way. It’s a welcome contrast to how-to hacks with ‘five easy steps’.
A playful, iterative approach to progress
[20:00] “Once we give feedback to each other…the person is not going to be perfect tomorrow. And the moment we treat them in a way that … they’re experimenting, they’re trying, they’re evolving, they’re they’re progressing, interaction after interaction, we’re creating a world where it’s easier for people to change and to evolve.”
[21:10] “Let’s share what we saw someone doing better than the previous time and then getting positive feedback from the session. That’s connected to growth mindset.”
Initiating change? Include gratitude
[45:20] “Transformational change can come from a place of appreciation and gratitude for who we are right now, for what already happened to make us who we are.”
[47:00] “I was not used to doing things from a place of gratitude … I was coming from a place of what needs to be fixed. And that created a lot of tension for me, for people around me and for the people I lead.”
Resources
To purchase Fran’s book and to learn more about his approach to leadership, please visit: Francherney.com
“When we focus on outcomes and take creative steps to go after that, we solve problems in service to those. It’s not that the Outcome Orientation is all goodness and light and problem free, but that we can tackle the problems that stand in the way of we really want and really care about.” – David Emerald Womeldorff
A 2022 Mindset Goal: An Outcome Orientation
As we dive into a new year, David Emerald Womeldorff’s discussion of problem mindset versus outcome mindset and the 3 Vital Questions is more relevant than ever. It’s why I’ve recapped this popular episode from 2020, especially as we prepare to tackle fresh challenges.
David discusses how all leadership begins with self-leadership, and how our mindset paves the way to a desired path. When we approach situations with a problem orientation, it drives anxious, reactive behavior and causes drama. In contrast, an outcome orientation keeps us focused on our passion: what we want to create and what’s supporting and aligning with our desired outcome.
As the author of The Power of TED and 3 Vital Questions: Transforming Workplace Drama, David makes complex topics easier to understand through his story-telling superpower.
Revisiting this conversation reminds me of the power of resilience in the face of organizational challenges and refreshes me as I plan my 2022.
Be the Victor, Not the Victim
[24:36] “There are two major components to our stepping into and developing our capability as creators. One is to create outcomes. The second is that we as Creators own our capacity to choose our response to whatever is going on in our lives.”
Create and Generate
[33:32] “What actions are you taking? Are you merely reacting to the problems of the moment, or are you taking creative and generative action, including the solving of problems in service to outcomes?”
[35:03] “The three basic steps of dynamic tension are first and foremost, focus on the outcome and to be as clear as we can on the outcome, that the outcome can sometimes be clear and concrete – other times it may be more vague and directional.”
